Recently, I came across a reel with a psychologist who interviewed an expert on adulthood and how adults can become more successful. One of the main messages was that some dreams should stay only dreams, and that not all dreams come true.
So I asked myself, and I constantly find myself questioning this, what is the right answer? Should we keep our childhood dreams and pursue them, or should we give up on them and accept the story we are currently living?
I have been thinking about this question so much lately that I decided to write this blog and maybe even get your input and opinions.
My past dreams
I have had multiple dreams throughout my life. First, I wanted to be a rider, a very successful rider who could make a living from horse riding and keep all of my horses. I did not come from a very rich family, and during my younger years, I also wasn’t particularly attractive to people in the sport. So, I think I managed to take the maximum from that world, and I am happy with how good of a rider I became because of all the effort I put into it.
But I do believe miracles can happen. Even though I cannot say that I have experienced many of them, and most of the time I have had to do a lot of things myself to make them happen, I still believe that sometimes everything can align, and this dream might still happen.
But if I look at everything objectively, I did the best I could at that point in my life. And at one point, I decided to move on and find an environment where I could grow.
Current path
And indeed, I became a scientist. I gained a lot of respect within the scientific community, not only in my home country, Croatia, but also in the Netherlands, where I am currently doing my PhD.
This was definitely not my dream. It wasn’t even something I had on my wish list. But I think I am good at it, and I am putting a lot of effort into it. And at the end of the day, we, as a group of people, are moving the world forward and trying to do the best we can for it.
Many scientists would tell you that this is not true most of the time. But again, I believe in the approach and internal reasons of every human being. That is why I do believe that the people around me can make a difference.
Growth
Biggest dream
However, my biggest dream is to become an actress, to become an advocate for women’s rights and women’s health, and to be the face of many campaigns.
I am nowhere near where I want to be on this path so far. But I am trying to build my community of women around health, beauty, and science, and eventually, hopefully, take it all the way to movie roles, creating my own characters and stories, and becoming successful on my own terms.
Knowing all of this, I keep asking myself: how much should I allow myself to believe in myself and believe that I can accomplish my dreams?
I know many of my friends would tell me to go for what is safe and for what I already have. They might go even further and say that my wishes are not rare, that they are dreams many people have, but that you need to be lucky to get there, and that there simply aren’t that many people who are that lucky.
Even my own brain tells me this every day.
But deep down, I would say that these are simply words coming from people who are on different paths than mine. I do believe that it is never too late to start over, to try something new, and to explore your passions, to find out whether you are actually meant for them or not.
So…
And this is what I am doing. I am currently trying things out, learning, asking for feedback, and discovering what I like and what I don’t. I am learning what I would like to do and what I wouldn’t.
Maybe I might not end up exactly where I want to be. But at least I will know that I stayed loyal to my inner voice.
On the other hand, sometimes these wishes can feel like they are pulling me backwards. They can make me tired and sometimes even demotivated. That might seem like a downside of having dreams and beliefs, and most of the time, they can indeed feel that way.
But I don’t see them as a weakness. I see them as an internal calling, something that keeps reminding me of the direction I want my life to take.
Keep dreaming
Conclusion
So, to go back to the original question, my personal answer is that giving up on your dreams is not necessarily the right answer.
I think having dreams, even when they might not end up taking you to exactly the same finishing line you imagined, keeps us moving forward. They make us ask for more, refuse to settle for less, and push us to learn more about ourselves.
Maybe the dream changes. Or maybe the path changes. We might also change.
But perhaps that doesn’t mean the dream was wrong. Perhaps some dreams are not there to give us a specific destination. Perhaps they are there to show us who we could become if we are brave enough to follow them. And maybe that is the real value of having a dream in the first place.
So, what do you think?
Do you believe we should keep pursuing our dreams, even when they seem unrealistic? Or do you think that, at some point, we need to accept that some dreams are better left as dreams?
I’d genuinely love to hear your thoughts.