I think we all already know what terms like #manifest, #goals, #achieving, and #actlikeyoualreadyhave mean. And I think today, everyone says they’re good at it and that they know what they’re talking about, even though many of them maybe haven’t experienced it for real.
I’d like to share some basic knowledge I’ve learned from people who are experts in psychology and psychotherapy, from those who are truly achieving their goals, and also based on my own personal experience. And honestly, I’d say more from my failures than from my achievements.
“Closing the gap” is usually explained as pretending that you are what you want to be or already have what you want to have. This concept goes so deep that many people go broke trying to live up to it. They make life changes without conscious thought, unaware of what they’re actually doing. In today’s world, I’d even say there’s a kind of madness around achieving goals, without truly understanding what “closing the gap” means, or what it actually means to pretend to have something, and how the brain really works.
In the book Thinking, Fast and Slow, the author explains the brain as two systems: System 1 and System 2. After reading this book, I honestly think thousands of people operate mainly through the unconscious, fast-reacting System 1. They do things without real thought or reasoning. And this, I believe, is the first major mistake we make when setting goals.
P.S. Please take time to read this book, it can really help a lot of people!
The second thing is: we don’t know ourselves. We don’t understand our traumas or our environments. Most of the time, we live blindly, without really knowing what we lack, what our strengths are, who raised us and what they taught us, what our beliefs are and whether they even serve us anymore. We don’t question what we expect from others, or why. We don’t stop to ask: What do I really want to achieve, and what is keeping me from it?
Most of us have something broken inside. And if we don’t know what it is, if we don’t face it and work through it, we can’t truly challenge ourselves to make the deep changes required to become something new.
So yes, the second mistake is that we don’t know ourselves.
And while I don’t think we’ll ever fully know ourselves, I do believe we should try. We have to look around, really see our lives. Look at our choices, our beliefs, what we think about ourselves. That is a must. Only then can we start to find our talents, our ideas, the ones that can actually lead us somewhere.
And then the third point: really closing the gap.
Most people think, “Oh, I’ll just wake up tomorrow and imagine I have a lot of money, buy the car, the house, get the job, go to the places I dream about…” And they think imagining it is enough.
